


Not quite a vacation, but it would do

by AtPK



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:33:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtPK/pseuds/AtPK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bottom!Erwin Week Ficlet: Vacation (Day 1) and First Time (Day 5) - NSFW Eruri</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not quite a vacation, but it would do

There was an air of expectancy in the room and Erwin leaned forward to look closer at what Hanji was doing. She dipped the syringe into the serum and removed a small amount, injecting it onto the dish. The containment she’d set up around it this time should have been perfect but, once again, the second it came into contact with the air, the serum evaporated.

His disappointment was like a slap in the face, but it was nothing compared to Hanji’s. She continued to stare at the empty dish for a long time, still holding the syringe.

“Hanji,”

“I thought I had it this time.”

“We don’t know what we’re dealing with here; it’s going to take time.”

“I’m almost there, I can feel it.” she muttered, starting to change things on the table, getting ready for another attempt. “By tonight I -”

“No,” Erwin cut her off, not unkindly. “Not today. I want you to take break.”

“But,”

“No.” he reiterated. “If I have to make it an order, I will.”

Hanji wasn’t happy but she didn’t argue. She nodded and started to pull off her gloves. He understood her need to continue; he himself hadn’t stopped since the coronation; but what kind of a Commander would he be if he watched his soldiers burn out in front of his eyes and did nothing to stop it. 

“I’ll head out to the Wall.” Hanji said, smiling brightly. 

Erwin nodded. It was only once he reached the door that he stopped, thought for moment, and then turned back.

“No, Hanji.”

Her bright expression dropped like a stone. “But,”

“No,” he said again. “I want you to take a break. I won’t be happy if I find out you’ve been out to the Wall, playing around with the guillotine.”

“I’m almost there,” she implored, mirroring her words from minutes before; so many things she was almost there on and yet they all still eluded her. 

“I know.” he reassured, his heart hurting a little for her. “Go to the orphanage, play with the kids.” 

A large part of him wanted to follow his own advice, but he had two more meetings and a report to finish before he could rest. It was several hours, and a raging headache later, that he finally stepped back into his office. He hadn’t seen Levi all day, which was unusual; even considering how busy they both were, Levi always made the time to see him. Erwin didn’t realise how much he’d anticipated seeing the other man, until the moment it became obvious his office was empty.

There was a note sitting perfectly in the middle of his desk: go home it read, in Levi’s small, slanted scrawl.

It was still relatively early, he could reasonably fit in another six hours work, at least, but now that Levi had planted the idea in his head, he knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else unless he was sitting in his own living room, in his own house, where he wasn’t going to be disturbed.

With any luck Levi would already be there.

It wasn’t a long walk to his house but, with thoughts of the upcoming expedition to Shiganshina being chased by thoughts of the Titan serum, he was anything but relaxed by the time he got there. 

“Levi,” he called the second the door was closed behind him. There was no immediate response and again he felt the pang of disappointment. 

“Up here.” Levi called back from somewhere upstairs, and Erwin relaxed.

He vaguely noticed, as he made his way up to the landing, that the house had been cleaned, and realised Levi had been there for a while. Erwin had expected to find Levi in the bedroom, but the room was empty, as was the bathroom. He eyed the closed door to the guest room with suspicion.

“Levi?” he asked.

The room was dark, but his eyesight adjusted quickly.

Erwin blinked in confusion. The only light sources were coming from the fire, slowly burning in the grate, and the lantern, gently swinging in the tent, illuminating Levi’s silhouette. A memory sparked in his mind, as clear and perfect as the night it had happened.

The way everything was set out reminded him of the night he had crawled into Levi’s tent, cold, wet and miserable from the first day of a disastrous expedition and Levi had undressed him, dried him, comforted him. It was the first time Levi had made love to him. It was the first time Levi had cherished him, worshiped him, slow and careful and burning; a stark contrast to what they’d had in the past.

There was a flutter of anticipation in his gut as he walked over and hunkered down in front of the tent opening, brushing the flap aside.

“Is this your tent?” he asked.

“What do you think?” Levi replied.

Erwin knew it was Levi’s tent.

Levi finished placing the ground mat and turned to look at him over his shoulder. 

“What’s going on?” Erwin asked. 

Instead of answering, Levi crawled towards him; a hand on his shoulder pushed him back until he was laying beneath Levi, knees spread wide and Levi’s weight holding him down. Levi had that look in his eyes that told Erwin he was about to get a right royal fucking but, instead of kissing him or grinding against him, Levi sat back on his heels and then got up.

Erwin exhaled, slowly.

“Let me show you,” Levi answered.

Levi threw open the curtains and the room was filled with soft late afternoon light. Erwin sat up and looked around him, his heart beating faster at the beauty that now surrounded him. All four walls had been painted into a perfect mural of the plains outside the Wall, with the bright morning sun rising in the east. It was all green and lush and alive, so real that he could almost smell the earth and hear the birds in the trees.

Levi stepped closer to him and Erwin looked up at him.

“Who painted this?”

“Moblit.”

“I didn’t know he was this skilled.”

“You’ve never noticed all the drawings of Hanji in that sketch book of his?”

“No,” Erwin paused. “Poor man.”

He knew he was just talking to try and give himself time to get his emotions back under control; Levi knew it too.

“Do you like it?” Levi asked.

“I like it very much.” Erwin answered, the understatement of his words made clear by the look in his eyes. “Thank you, Levi.” 

His sincerity made Levi uncomfortable so Erwin looked away, crossing his legs.

“Levi, why -?”

His question was cut off my the shrill call of the kettle boiling on the fire. Levi pulled it from the flames and put it down on the ground mat next to the tin cups they used on expeditions.

“We can’t go outside the Walls, so I’ve brought the outside, in to us.”

“We’re camping?”

Levi nodded.

“You need a break; I need a break.” he continued. “We’ll just stay here until someone summons us, however long that is.”

Erwin nodded. He’d never loved Levi more then he did right now. Resting back on his hands, he watched Levi prepare the tea; his gaze drifted to study the mural, the intricate paintwork, every individual knot on every individual tree. He paused, staring at one in particular. If he wasn’t mistaken … 

He glanced back at Levi, to find Levi watching him, a slow smirk blossoming on his lips. 

No, he wasn’t mistaken. That was the tree they’d first fucked in.

_Levi’d been sniping at him all day, little jibed barbs and barely contained hostility. Erwin had reached the end of his patience, forcing Levi to back down and follow his orders, or face the consequences of disobeying a senior officer. Erwin had no idea what those consequences were, especially as he wanted to keep Levi in the Scouting Legion, but he’d obviously been convincing enough._

_He was angry and frustrated and disappointed._

_The Scouts were doing training maneuvers , and his squadron were once again surpassing his expectations. All, except Levi._

_Erwin landed in the high branches of a tree, taken off guard when he was grabbed and shoved back against the bark. Levi might have been small, but he made up for it by being strong. Erwin shoved back at him, breaking his hold, and they both nearly fell out of the tree._

_Levi grabbed him again, and shoved him back against the trunk._

_“Stop that,” Erwin demanded._

_“You can’t tell me what to do!” Levi spat._

_“Yes, I can.” Erwin stated._

_They were so close Levi’s breath stroked his face at every angrily panted exhale._

_“You need to make your choice, Levi.” Erwin spelled out. “Either you start following orders, or you leave. It’s that simple.”_

_“Shut up.” Levi warned._

_“I’m your superior officer.”_

_“Shut up.” Levi said again, his voice lower this time._

_“You need to show me some respect.”_

_Levi kissed him. Hard. Hard enough that his head banged back against the tree trunk and he bit his tongue._

_“Oh,” Erwin exclaimed._

_Levi kissed him again._

_“I’ll show you my respect.” Levi growled._

_And Erwin reacted to Levi’s words in a way that took him completely by surprise. He returned Levi’s kiss._

_The next few minutes were a blur of belts being unbuckled, shirts being untucked, trousers being shucked down, and then Levi was spinning him round to face the tree, pulling his hips down and into place and pushed into him, inch by inch, slowly, slowly, allowing Erwin’s body the time to adjust to his size, his precum being the only thing to ease the way. Levi pulled back, making Erwin’s arse jump, and then took his time filling him again. When Levi finally deemed him ready, Erwin was fucking ready._

_Levi’s pace, once he got going, was punishing, his cock slamming into Erwin with such force and speed, it was the only thing Erwin could focus on; and, even though he knew that this was all about control; he had taken away Levi’s and now Levi was taking it back, at that moment he couldn’t have cared less. All he cared about was the short, sharp stabs at his prostate that had him biting into his hand to keep himself from making any noise._

_Resting his head on his arm, bracing himself more firmly against the tree, he tried to concentrate on not slipping; if he didn’t stay steady, they’d both end falling out of the damned tree. It was one of the hardest tests of endurance he’d had to face in a while._

_He felt Levi’s hand move from his hip, slipping down between Erwin’s legs; he cupped Erwin’s balls, and then trailed back, jabbing up at his prostrate with a firm finger just as his cock hit it from the inside. Erwin couldn’t stifle his yell as he came, clenching down involuntarily on Levi, who hissed as he too came._

_He’d had to spend the next hour walking around with his spunk drying on his stomach, and Levi’s drying on his thighs._

Levi handed him a tin cup and Erwin smiled a thank you at him. 

“I don’t know how much longer we have left together,” Levi said as he sat down by Erwin and rested back against the tent pole, stretching his legs out in front of him. Erwin stared at him for a moment before moving over to him, leaning into him, exhaling happily when Levi draped an arm around his shoulders and snuggled him in closer. “I know that we have that meeting with Zackley in two days, and I know that you aren’t being completely honest with me.”

Erwin tensed a little and Levi stroked his hair, reassuring him. 

They’d spoken at great length about what their next move should be: where they should go, what they should do with the serum, and two things had become clear to Erwin. The first: it was very likely someone would come looking for the serum, and Erwin was no longer the best candidate to protect it if they did; and second: Erwin would have been too wiling to use the serum on himself, even if he might not have been the best choice to yield the power, or if it meant that it might kill him. He was too invested in his cause now to think clearly about the outcomes. The decision of what to do with the serum would have to be someone else’s responsibility; someone who he could trust to look after it and also someone he could trust to do the right thing, whatever that might be.

These were heavy thoughts to be having on vacation, and so he opted instead for studying the mural once more, enjoying the feel of Levi still stroking his hair. He took a sip from his tea and then almost choked on it when he spotted another location he recognised on the wall.

“Levi, is that - ?”

Levi nodded, that smirk once again playing over his lips. 

_“Levi,” Erwin called. The underbrush was dense and he had to concentrate on his footing. They’d set up camp an hour previous and Levi had disappeared then, not a word to anyone._

_“Levi.” He called again._

_The trees cleared and he saw the plain stretched out in front of him, the moon heavy in the sky above him. Against the skyline he saw Levi. He was sitting on one of the scattering of boulders, staring out at darkness. He didn’t react when Erwin joined him._

_“Are you ok?” Erwin asked, his tone sharper then he’d intended; he couldn’t hide his annoyance that Levi had just wondered off without telling anyone where he was going. It went against protocol._

_Levi still didn’t acknowledge him._

_“Levi,”_

_“Do you ever stop talking?” Levi snapped. “All you ever do is talk; constant fucking noise.”_

_Erwin felt his gut twist at Levi’s words; he didn’t know why they mattered so much, but they did. “I’m sorry,” he responded, even though he wasn’t entirely sure what he was apologising for._

_Levi glanced at him. He’d taken the control with only a sentence. “What do you want?”_

_Erwin moved around to the front of the boulder to see him better. He hadn’t realised the boulder was on a ledge until he found himself looking up at Levi, his head not coming much higher then Levi’s knee._

_“You haven’t been right today,” Erwin said. “That mistake with the last Titan could have been disastrous.”_

_Levi reached out and touched his cheek, before snaking his hand around to the back of Erwin’s neck and pulling him forward between his knees. There could have been no mistaking what he wanted; they’d been playing this game for a little while now after all._

_“It’s time to stop talking now, Erwin.”_

_Erwin thought about stepping away, of going back to the camp, but his need to taste Levi again was too strong, and he didn’t bother fighting it. Levi watched him as Erwin began to unbuckle the belts at Levi’s waist; he was already hard, hot in Erwin’s hand as he closed his fingers around him, pulling him free of his trousers. Levi moved one of his knees up under him, raising himself higher, his cock in Erwin’s face; he guided the tip of it to Erwin’s closed lips, nudging at them until Erwin yielded and let it slip into his mouth, grazing his teeth along the length as it did._

_His mouth started to fill with saliva almost the instant the taste of Levi hit the back of his throat, and he lapped his tongue along the underside, feather light and fast. Levi indulged him for a moment, but it quickly became obvious that it wasn’t what he wanted when, instead, he grabbed a fist full of Erwin’s hair and held him in place while he fucked his face._

_Erwin gripped Levi’s thighs, trying to breath around the cock slamming into his cheek._

_He felt the change before he realised what was happening._

_Levi tightened his hold and pulled Erwin in closer, before shifting his angle and thrusting right into Erwin’s throat. Erwin gagged and tried to pull back but Levi wouldn’t let him go, forcing Erwin to swallow his cock._

_He couldn’t breath._

_He twisted free: “Stop,” he rasped, but Levi did it again. “Stop it. You’re hurting me.”_

_Levi let him go so fast, he staggered away a few steps._

_“What is wrong with you?” Erwin panted, hearing the accusation in his voice as he wiped the spit from his lips. Levi was completely indifferent._

_“You have no idea what date it is, do you?”_

_Erwin stared at him and then turned away to look out over the plain. He wasn’t used to being caught off guard, but Levi’s question had thrown him. The second he turned his mind to it though, he knew._

_Isabel and Farlan._

_“So you meant to hurt me?”_

_“No.” Levi replied, not meeting Erwin’s eye. “I didn’t mean it.”_

_“Do you still blame me for what happened?”_

_Levi looked at him now._

_“Sometimes you. Sometimes me. Fuck it.”_

_Erwin understood. Either they were both to blame, or neither of them were. They were both as culpable as each other._

_“Do you blame me right now?”_

_“No.”_

_Erwin moved back to him, knowing that if he didn’t take the chance on Levi now, then he probably never would again. He rested his head on Levi’s thigh and Levi gently ran his fingers through Erwin’s hair. It was nice. After a few quiet heartbeats Erwin leaned forward and licked Levi’s still erect cock from balls to tip._

_“You don’t have to.” Levi said._

_“I want to.” Erwin said._

_Levi rested back a little and spread his knees wider so Erwin could fit between them. Erwin rewarded him with open mouthed kisses along his length, ending in him sucking Levi until his cheeks were hollow, his tongue flicking quickly at the tip. Levi groaned, bending his knee over Erwin’s shoulder._

_Erwin smiled and nuzzled his cheek against the cock in his hand; kissing it, licking it, swirling his tongue over the tip and up under the foreskin. This is what he liked. Hearing Levi moan while fighting to remain silent. Seeing Levi close his eyes and clench his teeth, while slowly coming undone._

_He didn’t appreciate how hard he himself was until Levi nudged his boot into Erwin’s groin, making him groan and buck forward into the contact. Levi obliged him, pushing with just the right amount of pressure against Erwin’s cock, the ridged bottom of the boot sending shivers of electricity through Erwin._

_Erwin redoubled his attentions on Levi, corkscrewing his hand around the base of his cock, moving fast up along the length, the whole time sucking and licking and nipping the tip, in and out of his mouth. Unable to stop himself, he rubbed up against Levi’s booted shin, rutting himself to completion. He gasped when he came, and Levi’s cock slid effortlessly down his throat. Levi’s leg tightened on his shoulder as Levi’s body froze, and then he was shooting warm strings of cum down Erwin’s throat. Erwin swallowed, milking him for everything he had._

_Erwin spent another uncomfortable evening with his spunk drying on his stomach, and the taste of Levi’s spunk in his mouth._

“These memories aren’t all that happy, Levi.”

“Maybe not,” Levi replied. “But they show how we got from there,” he pointed to the tree. “To here.” he motioned to the tent.

It was true, they had come a long way.

“It would be nice if one day we could go outside the Walls for real; maybe go back to all these places and rechristen them.”

Erwin smiled, but it was short lived.

“Maybe,” he muttered. “Maybe we’ll make it out of this.”

“Maybe one of us will.” Levi countered, a brittle edge to his voice.

Erwin sat up a little straighter and turned to look at him.

“You know how important this is to me, Levi.”

“I know.” he replied, now resigned.

“If I have to,” Erwin started. “If it’s necessary for me to -”

Die. He couldn’t say it aloud.

“I know.” Levi repeated.

And he did. Erwin knew that he did.

Levi was trying to give him something else to aim for; a possible life they could have together once all this was over, but Erwin was incapable of looking that far ahead, and he wished Levi wouldn’t either. If he had ever suspected that what they had had at the start would have developed into this slow burning love, he would never have put Levi through it at all; just like he hadn’t put Marie through it.

“Do you remember that day?” Levi asked, distracting them both from their gloomy thoughts.

_It was late. The fighting had stopped hours ago, but he was still wondered among the dead looking for survivors. It had been a massacre on a scale he had never seen. He stumbled over something and looked down; it was an elderly couple, sheltered under a ridge in the ground; they had taken some kind of drug and died peacefully in each others arms. Erwin felt a surge of relief that they hadn’t been torn apart by titans, that they’d stayed together till the end._

_He tasted the bile in his throat and swallowed it down, dodging into the security of the trees. He couldn’t let his soldiers see him like this; they had to think he was indestructible. Erwin retched up what was in his stomach and stayed leaning against the tree._

_There was water nearby; over the deafening quiet, he could hear it burbling and gushing._

_Pushing away from the tree, he stumbled around in the brush until he found it. The water was so cold he gasped when it hit his face. He looked at his hand, staring blankly at the blood mixed with the water. He was covered in civilian blood._

_The realisation snapped in his mind, and he started to yank at his belts, desperate to get the blood off him. His gear fell to the side, followed by his cloak, jacket, shirt. He lunged forward into the water, his body seizing up as it succumbed to the freezing temperatures._

_It was finally silent. He didn’t want to leave the cocoon of the water, even when his lungs started to protest. He struck out as someone pulled him from the water and threw him onto the bank. Erwin blinked the water out of his eyes, gasping for breath. Levi looked angry._

_“You don’t get to take the easy way out.” Levi snapped._

_Levi words were sharp like a slap. He hadn’t been trying to kill himself. He’d just wanted it to be quiet for a bit longer._

_Erwin had too much to do before he could rest._

_He looked up at Levi, searching his face for something. The reason. The answer. The truth. It wasn’t there._

_“What have we done?” Erwin rasped, looking back towards the plain were his soldiers were starting to collect the bodies of the dead civilians and stack them in a pile. “What have I done?”_

_He folded over, tucking his head down between his knees to lean his forehead on the cool grass. Levi moved closer, a light stroke, a reassured circle on his back, and Erwin felt the pressure bubble up inside him; he bit down on his tongue and clenching his jaws shut tight, trying to stop the yell escaping from his lips. His body started to shake with the effort of keeping it in._

_Erwin felt Levi kneel down in front of him, stroking his hair now, running his fingers up Erwin’s arms. Levi shhhh’d him. Levi told him it was ok. Levi said he had to stay strong. Erwin heard his words as if he was still under water, distant and far away._

_“Levi,” he exhaled._

_“You’re ok.”_

_But he shouldn’t be ok, he didn’t deserve to be ok, he should have been the one to die out there, not the innocents. This shouldn’t have happened. This could never happen again. It was only when Levi shhh’d him again, that he realised he was talking aloud._

_“Levi,” he moaned, looking up at him. “Make it quiet.”_

_“What do you want me to do?” Levi asked._

_Erwin kissed him, biting and hard and pleading and Levi understood. He stood up, pulling Erwin with him. He tugged at Erwin’s trousers, sliding them down his thighs._

_“Take off the boots and go in the river.”_

_Erwin nodded, happy to do as he was told. It wasn’t long after that Levi joined him. The current was strong, gushing around them, threatening to drag them under._

_“Levi,”_

_“Shhh,” Levi said._

_Levi kissed him, his hands running over Erwin’s body, washing away the blood. Levi pushed him up against the river bank, holding onto some of the protruding roots to anchor himself. Erwin spread his legs, the current making it feel like he was floating. When Levi thrust into him, Erwin reached up behind him, linking his hand with Levi’s._

_Levi brought the silence with every thrust, and moan and bite on his neck. Levi brought the quiet with his hands and his lips and his cock._

_Erwin needed him to always be there to quiet his mind, when the noise got too loud._

“We could always rechristen them all now.”

Levi’s lips twitched in amusement.

“Whatever you want, Erwin.”

Erwin sighed. This was comfortable. It felt right. He knew it was now short-lived.

“Thank you, Levi.”

Levi took the empty cups and moved away; his absence at Erwin’s side was suddenly very obvious. 

“Let’s start here, should we?” Levi asked, pulling back the flap of the tent.

“Good idea.” Erwin replied, crawling in ahead of him.

“Happy vacation,” Levi breathed in his ear, as he began to divest Erwin of his clothes.

“Long may it last.”


End file.
